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Gordon’s Gems and Guidance
Raising Your Daughter to Have a Healthy Body Image Starts Younger Than You Think
We’ve all done it . . . looked in the mirror and immediately zeroed in on something we’d like to change. It’s not new, but in today’s world of filters, influencers, and Ultas/Sephora’s on every corner, it can feel like an uphill battle to raise girls who feel proud and comfortable in their own skin. The good news? You have more influence than you think. The messages your daughter hears and sees at home are powerful, especially when you start young. Here are some simple, real-life ways to help her grow up feeling confident, capable, and positive about her body.
- Watch what you say (and show) about yourself. Kids are expert observers. They notice when you sigh at your reflection or mention gaining 5 pounds. Try modeling the kind of self-talk you want her to have. Instead of, “Ugh, I hate how I look in this,” try “This color makes me feel good,” or “I’m comfy in this one.” And yes, your face counts too! (If you’re like me, your expression tends to say more than your words.)
- Show that makeup and fashion are choices, not requirements. If you’re a makeup wearer like me, great! Just show your daughter that it’s fun, not mandatory. Try going without makeup sometimes, or say, “I wear lipstick because I like the color,” instead of, “I look awful without it.'
- Focus on food as fuel. Instead of labeling foods as “good” or “bad,” talk about what food does for your body. “Carrots help our eyes,” “Protein helps our muscles,” or “Cookies taste awesome.” A balanced, guilt-free relationship with food starts early with you.
- Talk about what bodies can do, not just how they look. Remind her (and yourself!) that bodies are amazing machines. They run, breathe, dance, and laugh. Focusing on what your body does helps her value hers for its strength and abilities, not just its shape. Celebrate diversity in bodies. Point out and appreciate that bodies come in all shapes, sizes, and colors, and that’s what makes people beautiful and interesting. Reading books and watching videos that show a variety of body types can reinforce this message naturally.
- Pay attention to the messages she is hearing from others. Not everyone uses body-positive language. Sometimes even well-meaning coaches or teachers can miss the mark. If someone tells your daughter she “needs to slim down,” address it calmly but clearly. You’re her advocate, and these early lessons can shape how she values herself for years to come.
- Talk about social media and what’s real (and what’s clearly photoshopped). Even young kids are seeing edited images online. Help her spot what’s unrealistic: “Do you think that picture was filtered?” or “Does anyone actually wake up with hair like that?” Teaching her to question what she sees builds resilience and self-awareness.
- Encourage movement and exercise for joy, not for appearance. Dancing in the kitchen, climbing at the playground, playing soccer . . . it all counts! When girls move for fun and confidence (not calories), they learn to love how their bodies feel rather than worry about how they look.
Raising confident girls in today’s image-obsessed world isn’t always easy, but it’s absolutely doable. By modeling self-acceptance, celebrating what bodies can do, and being kind to yourself, you’re giving your daughter one of the greatest gifts possible: a lifelong sense of comfort and self-confidence in her own skin.
The Hockaday School
Within the private school community, The Hockaday School is an independent college-preparatory day school for girls from grades PK–12 located in Dallas, Texas. Students realize their limitless potential through challenging academic curricula, arts, athletics, and extracurricular programs so that they are inspired to lead lives of purpose and impact.
The Hockaday School does not discriminate on the basis of race, color, national origin, ethnicity, creed, religion, sexual orientation, disability, or any other status protected by applicable law in the administration of its educational, admissions, financial aid, athletic, and other policies and programs.
The Hockaday School does not discriminate on the basis of race, color, national origin, ethnicity, creed, religion, sexual orientation, disability, or any other status protected by applicable law in the administration of its educational, admissions, financial aid, athletic, and other policies and programs.